Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, November 25

Bugger the gym. Fuck the keep fit videos. I have a new keep fit regime that doesn't involve seeing how many times I can go back and forth to the fridge in a given time. All I need is a Lil Red and an Electric Six CD. No shorts required either. It's fool proof. And especially practical for despisers of public displays of sweating. Basically it goes like this:

A good half hour after gorging on anything that is not pasta, whack on Electric Six's album (preferably numbers 1, 4 and 8 first), grab your Lil Red off the sofa and throw her around the room and proceed to dance like the biggest chuff ever. Flail those arms, dance like it's 1982, mosh, air punch, do whatever it takes to bring on the BO. Oh and make sure you draw the curtains because the scene caused is one that should only ever be witnessed and shared with very good friends and other halves because let's face it, exhilirating as this commotion is, it's not pretty to watch. Flabs a flying and bellies a banging and sweats a pouring... Also ensure you have a sofa close by which after jumping all over you can then pass out on.

Should you feel so compelled, repeat first thing in the morning prior to showering. GIve it two weeks, not only will you be evicted but you will be a slimmer shadow of your former selves.

It's 8.54 am and having taken part in fanny dancing this morning, to a very loud Gay Bar, I was reminded that I hadn't blogged about Saturday night. Then I remembered I could direct you to any of my numerous Gay Bar posts and you'll know exactly what happened so I decided not to bore you with the details, again. I need a new bar to hang out in, the baby dykes have taken over.