I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
J Bo... Who Else?
The weekend was a carry on from start to finish. My girl was returned to me on Friday night and having the whole weekend together we just had to have our band of odd bods over for much drunken silliness. My recollections after the monstrous mega mushroom spew around 12.30am are pretty sketchy but I do remember having a blast. I don't know who instigated the belting out of power ballads on the window sill (after that much vodka that really is asking for trouble) but I have a sneakin suspicion it was of course, Power Ballad Queen and Kate Bush wannabe, J Bo. No night is complete without a manic Bo pulling your CD collection to bits in search of shite tunes that she can holler into a candlestick, fag packet or fusty bit of fruit. I seem to remember Backstreet Boys for christ sake. She always finds the classiest songs in any music collection.
My head was a ball of fuzz by the time we got to the gay bar but I do know we got some dancing in. Though my idea of dancing by that point was more like the shoulder slouch favoured by wasted folks whose eyes are crossed in the middle. It's really quite attractive. I also remember the band of twats on their hen night who decided as they should go to the gay bar because it's a novelty. If the gay bar was designed for more people than you can fit in yoru bathroom then fine, fair enough but as it is, the gay bar is too damn small for the gays that go, nevermind a hen night crew with veils and arms a swinging everywhere. In Aberdeen, there is one gay bar. There are however more straight pubs and clubs than there are dog turds on Union Street. For every time a property developer farts, a new pub/club springs up so I don't understand why haggles of fag hags insist on taking over our bathmat sized dancefloor every bloody weekend. If so many of them didn't have attitudes it wouldn't even be so bad but when one is double chinning my girlfriend, asking her what her problem is then I think it's time for them to find the novelty somewhere else.
Annoying rotund women with tudes aside, I think the dancing was fabulous, apart from mine of course. Again, I did not get to hear my Britney despite my continual requests for her. Maybe the lack of Ms Spears was my punishment for the pool of vodka and vomit scented drool I left on the ledge of the booth. I really am one classy lesbo.
Lil Red and I intended to watch My Summer of Love yesterday but the jumbo hangovers insisted we stay curled up in the comfort of our own home with Sex and the City. We did however, on Saturday, see Finding Neverland and it was fully fabulous, with Kate Winslet looking as beautiful as ever and causing a few lesbo tears.
Oh and apparently I was on the local news, again, the other day. I went to the careers fare last year for about 5 minutes cause it was a bag of shite and I managed to get my ugly mug on local television for my sins. Really, that was not part of the plan and has probably put prosepctive employers off. And because Grampian TV are shite mongers and cheap skates they reused the footage from last year so there I was for all who missed it last time around to see with a major tude and probably 5 chins. Doubt it.
And so I go scavange for food to feed my multiple chins while enjoying day off numero three.
Delta Goodrem... yes it's true
Dominoes pizza, cures a hangover no end
Lil Red hugs
The Julia Jog
Nights without Lil Red, last week of that nonsense though
Having to clear up the CDs after a Bo visit... can take months
Low boobs, get a bra
The return of the Overlord tomorrow
Having pulled a muscle in my arm when I belly flopped so tragically on the stair
11/08/2004 10:19:00 AM
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