Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, November 18

We went to see a show last night and not only did Lil Red give a fragile, cane brandishing old dude a lap dance (much to his short-sighted delight) but we got started on by a bunch of jelly kneed pensioners who spat humbugs and toffees at us when we dared ask them to move aside so we could get to our seats. I also about choked on the talc fumes as I found myself suffocating on a mouthful of blue rinse. Oh and tell me, what is that perfume that so many women over the age of 65 wears that can be described only as floral shite? It fully sets my gag reflex in motion every time I get a whiff, which incidently was pretty much constantly last night, seeing as the audience was predominently a sea of grey perms and bald patches.

Sat in amongst a throng of attitudinal OAPs, we certainly had an entertaining night. Life on the edge, it's just too much for me.

That really is as exciting as it gets for me. Really. I mean since I last wrote I...

Have been drunk not once
Watched an episode of Dawson's just to see Dawson cry
Bought fabulous pink pinstripe trousers
Painted my nails five times, Rimmel Stars is the bomb
Noticed that Carson Queer Eye is the double of gay Ellon
Put a chair containing my full body weight ontop of my toe, needless to say I'm now down to 9 toes
Eaten my weight in cheese about three times over
Picked my spots to the point I have two huge pockmarks on my face, classy
Decided that Sky from Neighbours could well be my new obsession
Watched Bridget Jones and laughed about 3 times only
Yelled pwoar at the TV screen too many times over Jennifer Aniston
Read Martha Moody and was unimpressed
Knelt on superglue strength security tags and ruined my trousers
Said to a customer when giving her change, 'here's your lunch', at 10.30 am... belly always interferes
Been told that my borrowed lap top will be taken off my gay hands very soon, doubt it
Been jostled by angry Christmas shoppers
Jostled angry Chrsitmas shoppers
Considered buying a balaclava cause it's that cold
Haven't bought a better, uplifting bra even though nipples and knees collide
Noticed that my feet stink
Stood in dog shite, or possibly human

Am in the process of...

Trying to keep down a possible fizzy vomit...

Ta ra x