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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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We went to see a show last night and not only did Lil Red give a fragile, cane brandishing old dude a lap dance (much to his short-sighted delight) but we got started on by a bunch of jelly kneed pensioners who spat humbugs and toffees at us when we dared ask them to move aside so we could get to our seats. I also about choked on the talc fumes as I found myself suffocating on a mouthful of blue rinse. Oh and tell me, what is that perfume that so many women over the age of 65 wears that can be described only as floral shite? It fully sets my gag reflex in motion every time I get a whiff, which incidently was pretty much constantly last night, seeing as the audience was predominently a sea of grey perms and bald patches.
Sat in amongst a throng of attitudinal OAPs, we certainly had an entertaining night. Life on the edge, it's just too much for me. That really is as exciting as it gets for me. Really. I mean since I last wrote I... Have been drunk not once Watched an episode of Dawson's just to see Dawson cry Bought fabulous pink pinstripe trousers Painted my nails five times, Rimmel Stars is the bomb Noticed that Carson Queer Eye is the double of gay Ellon Put a chair containing my full body weight ontop of my toe, needless to say I'm now down to 9 toes Eaten my weight in cheese about three times over Picked my spots to the point I have two huge pockmarks on my face, classy Decided that Sky from Neighbours could well be my new obsession Watched Bridget Jones and laughed about 3 times only Yelled pwoar at the TV screen too many times over Jennifer Aniston Read Martha Moody and was unimpressed Knelt on superglue strength security tags and ruined my trousers Said to a customer when giving her change, 'here's your lunch', at 10.30 am... belly always interferes Been told that my borrowed lap top will be taken off my gay hands very soon, doubt it Been jostled by angry Christmas shoppers Jostled angry Chrsitmas shoppers Considered buying a balaclava cause it's that cold Haven't bought a better, uplifting bra even though nipples and knees collide Noticed that my feet stink Stood in dog shite, or possibly human Am in the process of... Trying to keep down a possible fizzy vomit... Ta ra x Britney Wannabe 
11/18/2004 07:40:00 PM
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Adventures of Charmin |
