Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Tuesday, March 1

What kind of person does a jobbie in a bus shelter? On the red plastic seat? And then smear it up the glass panels? Some vile half breed with no moral standards that’s who. Who the hell wants to see an anonymous human turd winking at them first thing in the morning? And why would people stand in the bus shelter within spitting distance of a big steaming non-animal shit. You just wouldn’t. But they did. Fully foul.

Anyway, two days till our big gay trip to London, baby. I haven’t been to London since my university placement which was where and when the Fee blog was born. Prior to that 6-week stint I’d been many times, having dated a nurse who stayed in the city (don’t even ask) and later visiting every gay festival going with the Queen of Fun. But this is my first lesbo London trip with my Lil Red and boy we are two pant wettingly excited lesbos. I can’t work out if I’m more excited about having a choice of gay bar to visit or having more than two cool shops to shop in. The word ‘choice’ is definitely key.

On Thursday, I’m hoping to introduce Lil Red to her first lesbo bar, the Candy Bar which if I remember accurately is pretty cool (pool table hidden away and no lager on tap… how unlesbo is that?) but will absolutely be giving the Vespa Lounge a berth wider than a whore’s chuff. Another certainty is that we will be going to G.A.Y on Saturday night but are fully disappointed that not even a minor Z list celebrity will be playing. Even Beverley Knight would have been better than nothing. Or would it?

Obviously I‘d love to revisit my favourite place, Popstarz, so I can regurgitate my Jo Guest story in the actual place that it happened. Clearly however Lil Red and The Beast are wise to this and are having none of it. Doubt it. Have I told you the story about when I got chatted up by Jo Guest in Popstarz???

And so I go practice my bad dance moves in preparation for the mega dancing we have planned for the weekend. Look out lesbos, the Fee will be taking up too much room on the dancefloor and she will be dancing around like a very drunken asshole. Apologies in advance for the loss of any eyes or limbs even as my dancing has been known to be more than frenetic. And no, it’s not pretty. Or cool.

Today’s Likes

Being in London for my birthday on Saturday
Celeb spotting, not something I’m used to in Aberdeen
Plastic bangles, smell so good
Walking with my pod

Today’s Dislikes

Getting my mobile phone cut off for not paying the bill, how rude
Only getting three days in London, just not enough time
Still not enough blog time
Mylo being sold out
Being too ill to party with the J Bo at the weekend, real tears.