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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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I’m now the proud (?) owner of ginger eyebrows, a new tattoo, what feels like an entirely new set of teeth and a dodgy home-made copy of Britney and Kevin’s new show, Chaotic. I can’t decide what I’m more excited about. It’s been a long month and a half. No, really… I don’t come waving too many poor excuses at you for not having posted in so long, mainly because the excuses are so lame that they even make me cringe and wonder, where the hell have you really been, Fee and what exactly have you been doing that was far more interesting than posting. There is no conclusive answer. So, I’m sorry and I hope I don’t do that again. So, my brand spanking new eyebrows the colour of stomach lining are the result of being so utterly bored with my transparent skin that I had to do something about it. Having a deep, intense hatred for the sun and any sort of sweat inducing climate, there was only one option; moisturiser with a hint of fake tan, guaranteed to give you an ‘even, light tan’. They forgot to mention on the tube, for the complete ignoramus that is me, that you must rub all parts in. Clearly I did not comply with this obvious part and hence my eyebrows now match no part of my body. It looks hot; it induces laughter wherever I go. You should try investing in a pair of orange eyebrows yourself sometime. See what it can do for you. The word ‘humiliation’ springs to mind. I intend posting a picture of my new spontaneous, will probably hate it in two weeks, tattoo, once the scabs finally disappear. It’s on my lower back, hurt like a fucker and, I think, looks pretty sweet. At least it directs attention away from my ass-crack now when I bend over in my too-low trousers. Or maybe it has the opposite effect. Fuck. I finally registered with a dentist after one of my teeth broke. I knew it was going to be expensive to fix considering I’ve not been to a dentist since I was 18 and also because I had no choice but to go private. However, it was even worse than I could have nightmared. It seems that years of being a serial spewer have more than taken their toll on my beloved teeth and I was issued with a stern lecture, more metal in my mouth than actual teeth and a whopping bill that still causes me to run to the toilet and whip out my toothbrush and use it for the purpose for which it was intended *wink*. Needless to say, I’ve not been out much lately, too poor and too ashamed of my overly-filled teeth. Hmpf. Today I have been in Britney/Kevin heaven. Yes, really. I got myself a dodgy copy of their new show, Chaotic and I’m hooked. Disappointing that it only lasted like 5 episodes but what a wonderful 5 episodes they were. Really, there is no sarcasm there whatsoever, it really was fabulous. Can I reiterate that point enough? Truly spectacular. What are these adjectives I’m using? Anyway, that girl is so hot, well from what I could make out of her through the TV fuzz she was, and man I need some more of her… Reaching for the toothbrush… Anyway, I meant to keep this entry briefer than my dalliances with boys at age 15 but as per usual I find my ability to write in short, concise sentences near to impossible so I apologise for this mammoth, all-over-the-place, come-back post. And so I go nurse my ‘I’ve way over-eaten’ sore head while sniffing the new hair product in my newly highlighted hair… yum delicious. Today’s Likes Deep Dish’s new album George is On Kitten’s, I want one so badly My new hot ass Dunlop trainers, dyed fuchsia pink Holidays, looking after my pups Driving, beep beep, toot toot, stay off the road The Fee is getting lessons, woah Sugar Rush, laughing my lesbo ass off still Alice and Dana, too cute, too funny Today’s Dislikes Burns that leave a mucky scar Only 4 days of holiday left :-( Jenny, L Word, no explanation necessary Shane’s hair, L Word Not getting my fat ass into my new ebay belt. Damn you chubby. Britney Wannabe 
7/28/2005 03:07:00 PM
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Adventures of Charmin |
