Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Saturday, August 20

Club Tropicana, drinks are free...

Drinks were certainly not free in Aberdeen's very own Club Tropicana, nor were they -particularly cheap, unlike so many of its patrons. The only thing that was free was the abundance of male wandering hands who felt it necessary to double-hand grab any ass that passed, as long as it was attached to something vaguley resembling a female. Never before have I seen so many of the same breed of male in one place (you know the type, checked short-sleeved shirt buttoned uncomfortably high, slender fit jeans bought by their wife or ex-girlfriend and black buckled shoes and all over 35 years old). It was fully vile, as was the appreciation they got back from the over-eager (desperate) women who were clearly in dire need of male attention. You could tell it had been so long that clearly they all possessed re-grown hymens. don't even ask how I know this...

It was pretty lucky that courtesy of a massive amount of vodka I was fully cross-eyedly wasted. So I fitted in pretty well. We went there because Triple S was in full swing of an 80s night so how could we not go see our lesbo chum in her gold sequined ensemblea? There really was too much testosterone for that netted puffy skirt and footless tights number. And her similarity to Gloria Estafan could not go unnoticed... though in place of a mega perm was a mass of crimped hair. It was truly divine and an image that will be forever ingrained in my memory. It was a worry however that at least half the people dressed in 80s attire were not actually in fancy dress. The tapered jeans and shoulder padded blouses were their best outfits, probably having been worn on every special occasion since 1982.

Let's also not forget the crazy 80s dancing in which we partook. The wives (Lil Red and Queen of Fun) could only watch in horror as their husbands spun each other round the dance floor as though in the throes of some horrible kind of fit. We felt like we were at a school disco circa 1986. I had clammy man hands and everything.

Needless to say, it was a truly excellent night (even though at the end of it I was taken into someone's bedroom and promptly thrown on the floor while the others were passed out. And who said chivalry was dead, Triple S?). No doubt after stupid amounts of vodka I will return but only if Triple S will lend me her slip on flats and gold lame shoulder bag. Twit ta woo.

And so I go chew on my callus in place of walking to the shops for actual food. Do have a good weekend.

Today's Likes

Triple S and Queen of Fun, our lesbo chums are rockin my socks
King of Queens, Cary, yum yum
Watching daytime TV
Dancing to Tiffany and Chesney in the 80s bar (even if Chesney is 90s)
Having heard that Holly Valance will be appearing in Neighbours again... woo hoo...

Today's Dislikes

Feeling like I may fall down when I stand up for too long
A pretty day and no garden in which to enjoy it
Bothersome printers, the girl hath no patience
Panny Jenny, L Word, oh just go away
Having to wait too long for next Lost