Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, August 25

I'm sure everyone (or maybe just the unstable minded amongst you) has songs that when heard make you instantly drop everything, literally, and get up and shake that booty, no matter where you are. I've lost drinks, food, hamsters and limbs to my mental-fit inducing song of the moment. The song that inspires my fucked-up fanny dancing of is Dr Pressure (Mylo Vs Gloria Estefan). Decade blending, particularly in a music sense, is fully fabulous. I'm just recovering from a particularly nasty rhythmic seizure as my shaking hands make some lame attempt at typing. It's rocking my ass so much that everything must be halted as soon as i hear the intro strike up. By the time Gloria tells me she's 'paging Dr Beat' my shoulders are frantically shimmying and my butt is shoogling like it's never shoogled before (not since the last time at least). I'm thankful that I'm mostly in the privacy of my own home when this comes over me but this is not always the case. As there is nothing I can do to stop it (I blame the beat and Gloria's top notch 80s dancing), I've seen me leap out of my chair (not an easy thing for me, Miss Unfit 2005 I tell you)at work and get down and not very dirty right there at my desk, praying with all my might that I'm not rudely interrputed mid 'dance' (using the term more loosely than my ass after a night on the beer and curry). I don't know what people think when they arrive, post dance, to be faced with one very sweaty and oddly purple Fee in place of the usually demure Fee who speaks mainly to herself.

Fortunately I have yet to hear this song over a shop sound system. Who knows what might happen were I to break into the funky chicken in the middle of H&M. I'd be dumped for one thing.

Ah well, if it makes me happy I'm guessing we have no problem here. And if it aids in my eternal quest to bust a belly then it can only be good.

And so I go to remove Dr Pressure from repeat mode. What fucker thought that was funny I just don't know.

"Doctor, I’ve got this feelin’ deep inside of me, deep inside of me
I just can’t control my feet when I hear the beat, when I hear the beat
Hey doctor, could you give me somethin’ to ease the pain
’cause if you don’t help me soon gonna lose my brain
Gonna go insane"

Spoken like a true Fee.