Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, September 2

Didn't I make a pact with myself not to drink enough to warrant a hangover on a school night? Granted that's anything more than one alcopop but hey. I wish I'd listened to myself and remebered how cruddy I felt the last time I had a mid-week over indulgence. I hadn't even fully recovered from the drunken Gay Bar debauchery on Saturday night so what I was thinking, I do not know. I'll never fully recover from man kissing in the Gay Bar on Saturday night actually. What kind of lesbo am I? I haven't man kissed since the Three Jons Kissing incident two years ago and it's not something I planned on repeating. It was quite a vulgar scene to witness. My guy (a best friend if that makes it any better) was 4 foot taller than me so I had double chins a plenty. I don't know who had more stubble, Sexy G or me, the lesbo. But I do know it was painful the next day. It's no wonder some people have trouble believing I'm a homo (these people are deluded and visually impaired). Oh well as long as Lil Red was getting in on the action it's all good which, incidentally, she wasn't.

Am so not impreesed with the bloody podium in the middle of the already too-small dancefloor. I swear my ass is bigger than the dance floor as it is so there really is no need for a three (?) tired podium. Clearly the podium is an excuse for ugly people to remove their soiled shirts and shake it about a bit. Yes, I was on that third tier, mixing it up with Two Dimensional Gaylord and mingling sweat with Chubby Poof number 563. Yeah right, as if I could climb my way up there without either revealing 10 inches of crack or falling straight off into the arms of a too-drunk lesbo. Oh the Gay Bar. Oh how I love you. And that's why I threw up in your sink when no one was looking. And yes, I did clean it up.

And so I go shave my tongue.

PS What kind of lesbo spits flem down the length of a toilet door?

PPS What kind of lesbos add their own gob to the pile of grot collecting at bottom of said toilet door?

Aberdonian lesbos that's who. What is it with lesbos and their fully foul toilet habits? I need not remind you of the poop in the pint glass incident in another gay bar do I?