Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, September 12

Fee at the Dee

I can’t believe I have omitted to mention the fact that I was at the musical event of the year last Sunday. You wouldn’t believe that such a spectacular musical bonanza actually occurred in lowly Aberdeen. Really, it’s almost too much to talk about.

It’s been 8 days since I attended Free at the Dee (aka Shite Pop Acts Unite, Lesbos Come Together and/or Commoners Day Out) and it’s probably taken me that long to get over how many quality acts were performing (i.e.1). And when I say ‘quality’ I mean ‘hot’, and when I say ‘hot’ I mean Rachel Stevens. I kid you not. She was well worth the long wait in the drizzly, hair enlarging weather, not that I could actually see her past my giant sized blonde afro however.

***Oh and Free and the Dee in case you are still fuzzy as to what the hell I'm talking about is a local event where crappy pop bands play to crappy people in crappy weather.***

Originally I thought we’d gotten the dates mixed up and instead of being at an embarrassingly local outdoors concert (so not a festival, so not a gig) we were in fact at Big Gay Out. I’ve never seen so many lesbos outwith a gay bar: guitars, quiffy hair and bum crack revealing jeans were in abundance. Collectively I’m sure their hair was higher than a Sandilands Skyscraper and probably way more solid too. Wow is all I can say. And how they all coped without having a gay bar toilet in which to defecate, leave soiled tampons in and gob all over, I do not know. Maybe they were more at home in a portaloo.

And also, what is with people in human sized gold belts? Not only do they look cheaper than a whore’s thong but they are as appealing to the eye as a sun dried jobbie. Due to the enormity of these offending articles, however, they do conceal the wearer’s ass which in most cases, is definitely a very good thing. But who is to blame for these nasty and very tasteless accessories? Personally I blame Girls Aloud and H&M.

And why we were there? Also unclear but I know Rachel Stevens in a hot outfit had something to do with it.

And so I go fart myself to death after a good dose of belch inducing food. Life is so all good.

Today’s Likes

My new hair cut, exactly the same except far less baggy round the edges
Meeting people I haven’t seen in ages
Hetero Boy J
Mini rivitas, cardboardy goodness
Jessica Simpson sans make up
Arcade Fire

Today’s Dislikes

Two day hangovers, why am I not just used to them by now?
Forgetting to apply deodorant and suffering the consequences all day long
6 days till a wedding and having nothing to wear
Having more eye lids than actual eye balls
The Smoky Jo who continually blew smoke in my fabulously clean hair this morning