Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Saturday, October 8

The fact that my glasses are now held together with sellotape and dirt made me realise it was time for a visit to the optician. I haven't been for an eye test in about 5 years. The last visit resulted in me having a wet dream as the very hot optometrist came in a bit too closely with her phallic light, so clearly I haven't been in a hurry to return. In fact, I had to go somewhere different because I'm banned from the original place for lewd and lesbo behaviour. I swear I thought she was going to kiss me, if I'd extended my pierced tongue just a centimeter it would have been in her mouth or nostril (any hole's a goal?). Oh well.

I hoped there would not be a repeat performance when hottie warned me in advance she would now 'be coming in very close' but I controlled myself as all good lesbos should and had a proper giggling fit instead. Shoulders were shuggling, eyes were watering and there may have been a small amount of restrained snorting too. 'Please try and keep your eyes still Miss Fee'. What, am I five? Apparently so. But I do have personal space issues.

Anyway, got myself two pairs of specs, having again decided that contacts are so not for me. It's not the shoving a bit of cellophane in my eye that bothers me, it's the fact that my glasses are dual purpose: not only do they help me see but they also do a fabulous job of concealing my mega shadows that make me look like a middle aged dyke. Hmpf.

So, I must go now and prepare for the annual extended family meal thing I am attending tonight i.e wash my hair and get wasted. Not necessarily in that order.

Today's Likes

Crocodile Soup - Julia Darling
Diet coke with lime, so all good
Glasgow in two weeks for a double birthday celebration
My buddy in the Herald magazine today

Today's Dislikes

My recent outbreak of teenage acne, not pretty and even less attractive under flourescent lighting
Being bored without my lesbo chum at work
Overpriced meals with teeny, bird portions
Having to wait 10 days for my new specs, hmpf

Obsesively Listening to:

Madonna's new tune - Hung up, downloaded in various forms, ace.

Lesbo Sightings of the Day

Bootypuffymare (at lease I think it was u, have never seen u out of the gay bar...)
Ginger Crystal Lady (for sure)
Baby Dyke Shop Assistant, brand spanking new
Wifie Lesbo who looks like she wants to punch my head in (probably does)
Butch Mulleted Dyke
Skinny Older Dyke in Tie Dye

Oh and for anyone that was interested, Sarah Waters' new book was rockin'