I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
I've loved Madonna for as long as I've been an overeater (i.e since I was about 8 and discovered Pop Tarts) and everytime she comes back I turn all gay-manish and get all hand-clappy and high-pitched about how ace she is; and this time is no different. Having been playing the tune obsessively for the past few weeks, I waited eagerly for the video which I saw previewed through a vodka, baileys and alchopop haze on Thursday night (clearly the only reason I managed to stay awake past 9pm).
Anyway, as much as I love Madonna, I hate (loathe, despise, detest, whatever) leotards. Yes that's right: leotards. I think this complete disgust of the female body in butt revealing lycra is probably the result of having seen myself in it repeatedly from the ages of 3-15. So, when I saw Madonna busting moves in a pink leotard complete with belt and what I originally thought were long socks (like I say, vodka haze) I was thoroughly gutted. The close up ass shots and the sight of her elongated fanjita ensured I vomitted acrid bile on my side of the bed. However, as it was, I had a lot of cleaning up to do before sleep was permitted.
I fully loved every other part of the video (even the boombox shagging episode) and now have RSI from perpetually flicking through the music channels to try and catch a glimpse. I cannot wait to dance my gay ass off to this in the gay bar, if I'm not elbowed off the dancefloor by those who will have the dance moves perfected well before me. I'm working on it though: as our neighbours can attest to. Boom shake shake shake the room. I definitely do not have a license to be that heavy on my feet.
And so I go scrape my Lil Red off the floor; she's been there a considerable time now after trying a Madonna move that has clearly gone so very wrong.
Gaying it up in the Polo Lounge
Fat Cat in Glasgow
Drinking with ex book shop folks (not mentioning anything Hetero Boy J...)
Ashton Kutcher, so pretty... what kind of a lesbo am I?
The sweatyness of gaying it up in the Polo Lounge (no used tampax incidents this time thankfully)
The pain of dancing like a fud the day after...
Chris Moyles, ticket to Yawnsville please
Only 8 weeks till Christmas
Having to wait a week before getting to party
10/29/2005 10:56:00 AM
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