Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, January 5

It’s been so long since I’ve written here that it took me about 18 shots at logging in. I kept getting the same error message: ‘Who the Fuck are you?’ I felt like a skidmark, Z-list celeb entering the celebrity Big Brother house.

Far too much has happened since I last wrote to tell you my tales of New York and of meeting hot L Word Lesbos, so much in fact that I have begun writing a flippin’ novel of the trials and tribulations of my last 6 months. It’s been accepted for publication by ‘Yeah Right, You Fat Lesbo Inc’ so please do look for it on the bottom shelf of your local bargain book shop or, while sitting catching all manners of disease on a public toilet, look left and you’ll find it in place of toilet roll.

I thought it was about time I spoilt you all over again with my crap tales of lesbo life. So just when you thought, phew, lesbo has gone for good this time, I’m back baby, I’m back. And this time I’m thinner and more fabulous than the last time. Hold on till I wipe the remnants and cheese and bullshit from my lips.

How was New Year for you? I had a bloody brilliant time with The Bo, plenty of drunken debauchery to go around I’ll tell you. Who’d of thought hanging out in the local pub, listening to a band playing Everybody Hurts could be so much fun? Let’s not forget getting blacklisted from a crap party full of half-breeds in togas who dissed us with calls of ‘lesbians’ as we tried to get the hell out. Much crazy dancing ensued with a side portion of broken light fittings and a large helping of macaroni cheese. You really did have to be there; it was fully, fully fabulous.

As it is the season, I made a few resolutions I’d like to share with you, though I’m sure you’ll wonder why I bothered.

1.Have a better 2007 than 2006 – should be an easy one to carry out

2.Write my blog regularly again, and read all the ones I’ve missed; have forgotten just how therapeutic the world of blogging really is

3.Be less of a mentalist – have failed on this account already but am attempting to redeem myself

4.Stay away from fellow mentalists

5.Party more; this one should be very do-able considering I’m moving into a flat with The Bo very shortly

6.Clean my hair more often – the smell of dirty hair is gonna be rife in our flat; surely hair cleans itself after a certain amount of time?

7.After having lived at home for 4 months it’s now time to re-appreciate the folks

8.Get rid of my baggy belly, finally (for the record, this is highly unlikely)

9.Try and change my entire personality (see also number 3)

10.Attempt to get over my issues with lycra, swim-wear and nudity in art

So, in the words of my Bo, ‘new year, new life’. Feel free to stick around and see how that works out…