Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, February 1

“For reasons of hygiene please do not wash the teeth.”

I came across this sign in a public toilet in Milan. What disturbed me about this was not the bad translation from Italian to English but more the thought of people actually cleaning their teeth in a public toilet. And, what’s more concerning is that people were partaking in this activity so frequently that it was necessary to ban this.

I had never seen anyone wash or brush their teeth in public before, until yesterday. I witnessed a woman standing within licking distance of the mirror happily spraying it with her saliva and toothpaste as she furiously removed her breakfast, lunch and mid afternoon snack from her furry canines. Is this normal behaviour outside a dentist surgery? And why was I so caught off guard that I apologised to the woman, as if I had just walked in on her on the toilet with her pants round her thick ankles? I bet it was the same woman who took a highly audible dump in the cubicle next to me last week.

Surely with the invention of the chewable toothbrush there is no need to do this? Or, as per usual, am I just too easily repulsed? I guess I can add brushing teeth in public (and subsequently showering the mirror with gubbings and food bits) to my possibly irrational list of issues I really need to address and which include, but are not restricted to, the following:

Adults in Disney clothing
Wooden spoons
Victoria Beckham
Cork wedge shoes
People chewing loudly and vigorously
Rustlers at the cinema
Public pooping
Scooped neck jumpers on men, sans T Shirts
Dirty nails
Lee Ryan
Two tone, leather Head bags circa 1990
Men with shiny silver buckles on their patent shoes
Freshly plucked eyebrows
Chopping boards
Jumpers that double as dresses
Blue tattoo
All manners of lyrca including leggings, swimsuits and wetsuits
Side ponytails

While this is not an exhaustive list, I think I've more than demonstrated that yes, this chick has issues :-)

And so I go attempt to tame my curls in order to reclaim my peripheral vision.