Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Tuesday, February 13

I am trying to recover from a 3 day bender. This coming from the girl who takes 4 days to get over one day of alcohol induced fun… I have estimated it will be April before the effects of Thursday, Friday and Saturday finally disappear.

My 3 days of overindulgence included, but were not restricted to, the following:

Managing to get on a 4 ft podium with minimal grace and decorum

Falling off said 4 ft podium with minimal grace and decorum

Trying to break The Beast’s fall as he took a turn falling off the 4 ft podium with even less grace and decorum

Bottles of pink champagne

Proposals of marriage

Gate crashing The Bo’s date in a quiet pub, so sorry sweet Bo

Taking over the dancefloor (aye, because there was no one else on it) with the Gay Exchange

Four vomits, 3 of which were mine

A mincer in a scarf (enough said)

More stodgy hangover food than my body can handle

Failing miserably to get wasted on bloody Mary’s on Day 3 but boy did my ass feel their wrath the next day

Sharing drunken tales and laughing so much it induced vomit with The Bo

Almost seeing people who I really didn’t want to see

Subsequently thinking I saw people I really didn’t want to see and losing many heartbeats and the contents of my stomach in the process

A late night breakfast consisting of what looked like fried shite regurgitated

Partaking in a bar staff auction… where one lesbo was bought for £3…

Going to a family wedding with my lady and not embarrassing myself, or her

Buying a dress (!)

Saving the ridiculously drunk Gay Exchange from himself by drinking all his drinks…

Generally having three of the best days with very good friends and looking forward to the next instalments

And now I pay the price; I look and feel (and no doubt smell), like I have been battered by a gang of metal-heeled lesbos who thought I deserved a kicking for dancing like a twat on the too-high podium which maybe wasn’t even a podium and, in fact, was part of the furnishings… Oh man.

And so I go rescue myself from big hair hell. Life is just too good.