I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
My 3 days of overindulgence included, but were not restricted to, the following:
Managing to get on a 4 ft podium with minimal grace and decorum
Falling off said 4 ft podium with minimal grace and decorum
Trying to break The Beast’s fall as he took a turn falling off the 4 ft podium with even less grace and decorum
Bottles of pink champagne
Proposals of marriage
Gate crashing The Bo’s date in a quiet pub, so sorry sweet Bo
Taking over the dancefloor (aye, because there was no one else on it) with the Gay Exchange
Four vomits, 3 of which were mine
A mincer in a scarf (enough said)
More stodgy hangover food than my body can handle
Failing miserably to get wasted on bloody Mary’s on Day 3 but boy did my ass feel their wrath the next day
Sharing drunken tales and laughing so much it induced vomit with The Bo
Almost seeing people who I really didn’t want to see
Subsequently thinking I saw people I really didn’t want to see and losing many heartbeats and the contents of my stomach in the process
A late night breakfast consisting of what looked like fried shite regurgitated
Partaking in a bar staff auction… where one lesbo was bought for £3…
Going to a family wedding with my lady and not embarrassing myself, or her
Buying a dress (!)
Saving the ridiculously drunk Gay Exchange from himself by drinking all his drinks…
Generally having three of the best days with very good friends and looking forward to the next instalments
And now I pay the price; I look and feel (and no doubt smell), like I have been battered by a gang of metal-heeled lesbos who thought I deserved a kicking for dancing like a twat on the too-high podium which maybe wasn’t even a podium and, in fact, was part of the furnishings… Oh man.
And so I go rescue myself from big hair hell. Life is just too good.
2/13/2007 01:20:00 PM
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