I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
first gay prom in the UK this morning. It was a concept they had taken from the US and what a brilliant idea; I wish I’d been 17 to appreciate it and actually been there.
It reminded me of my ‘prom’ which was really just a bunch of 17 year olds getting wasted in a gym hall and dancing to tragic music (notably Technohead: I wanna be a hippie…). And of course the worst part of it for me was having to wear a dress which made me look like a man in drag. I finished off the look with heavy, lesbo boots and stripey tights. Say no more.
If I’d had a willing girlfriend at the time I would most certainly have taken her to the dance and spun her around the dance floor like the rest of the couples who were high on teenage love. I think at the time I was seeing a girl who lived in Cornwall and even if I had wanted her to make the 19 hour bus journey to be my partner, she wouldn’t have bothered.
I’ve never had issues about being a lesbo. I got bullied for many things at school (being a fatso, having a crap fringe, wearing tye dye etc) but I, luckily, never got any hassle for being a dyke. In fact, girls from all years were keen to try the gay thing and I was definitely a willing vessel for their experimentation.
At the dance I got very drunk on 80 shilling beer, white lightening and whatever was in Big F’s homebrew. I then attempted to inappropriately kiss someone I vaguely fancied and ended up in the toilets with the first girl I had ever kissed when I was 15. The details of what happened in that cubicle are extremely hazy but I remember spinning out from the concoctions we were drinking and almost vomiting on the girl… What an affront. I’d wanted her for years, after our brief liaison, and I finally get the chance to get close to her and I about puke all over her. Classy or what.
So yeah, should I ever get the chance re-do my lesbo youth and go to a gay prom for the over 25s then I will be first in the queue with my lady in hand, and for once, I will not have to take her to the toilet to have some time with her; I can take her home and chuck my guts all up on her instead. Yas, life with Serial Vomiter Fee is so all good.
Should I ever wear heels, this is no doubt what I would look like.
2/27/2007 01:17:00 PM
Adventures of Charmin
Ariel Pay it Forward
Come to the Dark Side...
Dirty Little Homos
Fash Mag Slag
Het (aka Quickfit)
Hit the Jag Spot...
Knee Deep In It...
Life and Times of a Desperado
On Top of the World>