I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
My first girlfriend lived down south and in our two year dating history I saw her on two occasions (healthy? Yes). I liked her a lot, even if we were total opposites: she was a nature dyke while I was a lazy turd bag; she liked to talk and I was more than happy in the silence that frustrated her immensely but nevertheless I really liked her. When she came to visit me the second time I was really excited for her to meet my only lesbo chum with whom I shared most of my gay nights out. Bad move.
When they disappeared I didn’t expect to find them in the toilet together. I did expect to get thrown out and barred from the club for the tantrum I threw however. Naturally they tried to deny it (of course they were only talking!) but eventually it came out that yes, they were getting it on.
And so I lost a friend and a girlfriend (de ja vous) and this incident certainly set the path for my increased paranoia in subsequent relationships (sometimes very justified unfortunately).
The years that followed this, the ex-friend and I ignored each other, dirty looked each other, probably tried to knock each other off the dancefloor and as time went on we absolutely loathed each other.
So, I was most shocked and sceptical when this girl, a girl I see most weekends, decided to suddenly apologise to me for being a ‘cunt’. Apparently she’s been carrying this guilt around with her since it happened but why now free herself of this? Maybe she was as sick as I am of wasting energy on hating someone, it's draining. I mean, is it not better to say 'hi' to someone rather than crossing the road when you see them? It doesn't mean you have to have dinner together and pick up where you left off all that time ago, you know? I shall endeavour to accept the gesture for what it was and not stress out and over analyse it, wondering what it really means. Am sure the 2 day hangover doesn’t help the state of mind either.
But again, I had a fabulous weekend. Another two days of partying and hanging out with brilliant friends, old and new.
And so I go obsessively check my Bebo site because unfortunately my addictive personality will not allow me to refrain from doing so.
My Bo in her little red dress, cuuuute!
Gay dinner parties
How straight my hair is when immeasurably greasy
My new greeeeeeen vest
The beans and brown rice diet
Poppers in hot water, there’s nae need
Drip drying, not for Lesbos
People who brush their hair at their desks
3/12/2007 04:00:00 PM
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