Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, October 29

Around the same time as I was getting red faced in a very long and frustrating queue to collect my train tickets for a train that left in 9 minutes, Lil Red was being subjected to an interogation over the theft of her CD player and CDs which were stolen from her room the previous day. Even if I was aggrevated to the point of near explosion due to the typically ill mannered Aberdonians and even if I did have to run for my train (oh the shame, I hope you never saw me dolloping toward the north bound train with my jumbo locks a flowing and the sweat a dripping off my period coloured face), I think Lil Red came off worst. She was passed from manager to manager until a very old woman way beyond retiring age tried to convince Lil Red that her stuff hadn't really been pinched but that she must have mislaid it somewhere because she really didn't know what could have happened to it. It's pretty obvious what happened pointed out a very disgruntled Lil Red, usually as meek as a meek thing can be, at which point old woman became irate and claimed there was basically no way anyone in the staff could have stolen it because they had all been there so long, blah shitein' blah. Oh man! The fact that it had been taken from a hidden pocket within her case was even more annoying, knowing that some creep had been going through her belongings. We figured it was probably a guy, or a female blessed with naturally straight hair because otherwise I'm sure they would have lifted the GHDs, which probably cost double what the CD player did. So very annoying.

And more annoying was the fact that having had a penthouse suite last week with King sized bed and megabus sized TV, this week she was housed in a pokey little room no bigger than our bathroom with two shabby single beds. Seriously doubt it. It took quite the man strength of us twa dykes to force the fossilised beds together to ensure quality night time hugs. I didn't think about falling down the gap until it happened however.

And so while Lil Red is working today I have another 3 and a half hours to kill in Inverness. You can get round the centre of town, including all the shops (christ I even went into the Photofactory to kill time) in about 20 minutes. I may even have to go to the museum or on the open top bus tour for something to do. At least with the wind and the rain in my hair (now freshly straightened thank you) I would be guaranteed to stay awake. Christ you could hang the entire H&M range off the drooping bags under my eyes. Man I'm so bonnie.

Today's Likes

Cranberry coloured nail varnish
Getting to see my girl :-)and having her to myself for 3 days, woo hoo
Tea with the Queen
A polyester clad Triple S... wow, hot ;-)
Work, surprisingly

Today's Dislikes

The size of the font on this special computer
Train toilets. Is there anything more vile? I need to perfect my hovering techniques while trying to hold my flares off the pish ridden floor for the return journey
Having only 7 minutes left on here...
My gammy funny bone which I whacked earlier and is still all pins and needles. There is no need

Britney Wannabe

10/29/2004 01:30:00 PM

Tuesday, October 26

I spent most of the day up to my dimpled elbows in plastic animals. I'm sure when I signed up to be a bookseller, plastic animals were not in the job description. If there is such a thing as cool plastic animals, these are not it. It really was as much fun as farting in a glass, putting your hand over the top and sniffing it 10 minutes later to see if it still smells. That's not fun right?

I've been spending quality time with my parents in Lil Red's absence which is ace and bella the belly is full of goodness rather than any shite I may usually shovel into my gut out of pure laziness. Aduki beans? What the farting jesus are they all about? I will be a farting jesus after the amount of pulses I've just spooned into gut numero 3. Maybe the plastic animals section is the best place for me after all the healthy wind causing food I've been eating. At least then I can try and pass my awful stench off as a soiled nappy or ten. Not my own clearly.

Hurrah, only two days til I see my girl and have even planned a special trip to Inverness for the occasion. I will not be travelling on the bloody megabus though. I want to have feeling in my ass when I reach my destination. I'm not sure how I will cope on the train on my own some, without someone to distract me from the food guzzlers and the noisy mobile phone chat that bugs the crap outta me but I'm sure with a new set of batteries for my stereo and my gay adventure book I'll be just fine. But dare anyone crunch into a bloody apple in my face and they will feel the wrath of my bean filled ass.

And so I go call my girl and paint my scabby nails which are more ugly than the embryo which has developed on the side of my face. Yes really.

Britney Wannabe

10/26/2004 08:24:00 PM

Monday, October 25

Glasgow was fully fabulous. Two big haired lesbos and a hungover Bo were packed into the back of the Queen of Fun's car like socks down pants and needless to say, much hilarity ensued, particularly when a J Bo recounted her oblong turd story for the 800th time with even more added emotion than usual. I love the travelling part of going anywhere. Even though getting on trains brings me out in fanny rashes because I get so wound up at the prospect of a trauma, it's always so damn funny. Even if an outing with us lot is like being out with a bunch of kids who have been let out without their parents for the first time ever. We really do not know how to behave in public. This time thankfully all I had to worry about travelling wise was not gasing everyone to death in a very small enclosed space after I'd eaten a spicy tea or squashing anyone to a bloody pulp with my over large ass which was not designed for tiny spaces.

So there was moi, my Lil Red whose birthday it was, J Bo (a River City extra), Queen of Fun whose hair is so long she tucks it into her thong, Triple S (Super Sexy S) who has boar issues and of course The Beast. What trip would be complete without a hairy backside and our best friend? I wouldn't quite say we are a bunch of social retards thrown together out of convenience but we are so completely mismatched and we manage to have the best times when we hang out. The only disappointment this time around was that we never got to shake our asses in the gay bar. For no good reason there were 7000 people crammed into a bar meant for 1000. The queue for the toilet was so long that we resorted to pissing in paper cups and tossing them forward into the crowd who were grateful of the refreshement, however warm it may have been. It was fully ridiculous. There is no way you could have even side stepped on that dancefloor and for the sake of my mental health we had to avoid it completely because I get so wound up when gay boys and their fag hags swing each other around in confined spaces, sending you flying and drowning you in their juices. Vile.

I did spend a good deal of time watching my girlfriend get touched up by a pair of creepy lesbos who shall remain anonymous (you're totally not getting that money back now, Queen) but hey, Lil Red didn't seem to mind, or notice. Not that she was capable of noticing much after the amount of vodka I plyed her with...

Anyway, after making space in the digital camera and charging the batteries for a full day, I forgot to take it with me and have not one single photo, not even a Bo double chin, to post. Durr, Fee.

And so I go, prepare my monstrous locks for bed, i.e by attaching small cars to the end in order to make the hair go down and not out. What a girl must do for straight hair when her girlfriend has taken the miracle straightners out of her hands for 5 whole days. Doubt it.

Britney Wannabe

10/25/2004 08:12:00 PM

Saturday, October 23

Would you have queued for 4 hours to see Michael Palin sign a book? I wouldn't have but 400 other people absolutely did, and got pretty over excited about it too. It was like the time when bloody Darius came to Aberdeen and a hoard of screaming pubeless teenagers battered each other to get a glimpse of him, only this time, the queue members were old enough to be Darius's granny. Some of these people hero worship Mr Palin and were certina-wettingly happy to be able to meet him, if only for the length of time it took him to write his over practised signature. It was sweet, it was cool that these people were able to meet someone they idolised and who's career they had followed for decades. I can't even imagine ever being able to meet a celebrity I'm that involved with. I mean can you see me, a geeky gay who dribbles shite about shite, ever getting to get close enough to fart on Britney Spears? Of course I hope that I wouldn't be so excited in her presence that I would slip a puff of wind out my ass. Imagine Britney walking through my fart? Oh the shame. Maybe I need to set my sights lower. I need to fixate on someone that it's not impossible to ever meet. I mean Queen of Fun got to meet her obsession, as unclassy as that was. I can't say it's my dream to meet a glamour model (did I ever bloody tell you that I got chatted up by Jo Guest in a gay bar??! See my archives for a monthly retelling of this story...) but Jordan was actually rather hot in her 3 ft glory, under all that slap. I did meet Amber Benson after queuing for a good 6 hours in the January cold and getting abuse from prepubescent teens with unknown gayness and that was the highlight of 2004 but I'm not fully obsessed with her. Now Eliza Dushku, I'd stay up well past my bedtime to meet that girl but it's just never going to happen. The only 'celebrities' that even come near Aberdeen are ex reality TV 'stars' (that word is looser than a whore's lips), authors no one has heard of and Bryan Adams. Oh and the local news readers who think they are celebrities. It's a tragic state of affairs when you find yourself getting marginally excited when you see Lynne Moncrieff (yes, who?) cycling past you all puffy faced or when you resort to clinging onto Cameron the 2003 Big Brother winner just because he's been on TV and is now standing in the entrance of the gay bar. Maybe I just need to control my obsessive tendencies. Maybe I just need a life.

And so I go pack my little bag for Glasgow. By the time I get there my outfit will have more creases in it than my face in the morning but fuck it, in a bar filled with 95% gay men, who the buggery is going to be looking at my crinkled skirt?

Today's LIkes

Lil Red, home sweet home :-)
Chewing lolly sticks well after the lolly has gone
One Pill Makes You Smaller by Lisa Dierbeck (?)
Partying in Glasgow
Borders in Glasgow, yay a gay section

Today's Dislikes

People with tudes, don't take it out on the shop assistant
Finding out my girl is away for another week on top of the other two :-(
Queuing for a total of 30 minutes in bloody Boots the shiteing chemist
Not having seen the L Word in weeks... doubt it
Having one pair of straightners betweeen two massive-haired lesbos who are in different cities, not cool

PS Thank you for all the photo suggestions, they are a work in progress that will keep me amused next week :-)

Britney Wannabe

10/23/2004 10:44:00 AM

Wednesday, October 20

Oh man. My Lil Red has had to go to Inverness for two and a half weeks. That means no hugs, no kisses and no fun until the weekend when I can see her. It feels weird to come home and to not have my girl here waiting for me with her cute lil smile on her face. I haven't been apart from her since I lost her to Australia almost two years ago for 6 very long weeks. Hmpf. Anyway, at least I can see her at weekends and as it is her birthday on Sunday we and a few friends have decided last minute to go to Glasgow where I may or may not get in a fight with a Glaswegian butch lesbian. I reckon Glaswegian Dykes are harder than the all gob Aberdonian Lesbo Crew so maybe we'll be staying out of harm's way and keepin our smart ass comments to ourselves when any mini men with rogue nipples ask us for a cigarette. Coming along for the ride are J Bo, The Beast, Queen of Fun and Newbie. Us creeps in the gay bar, and all the frivolity that we seem to create amongst ourselves, how could it not be fully fabulous? You could even go to bloody Dundee with J Bo and still find the fun. Seriously.

Anyway, I need some amusing so am pilfering an idea from C'lam's site where I ask you the wonderful reader to tell me what you want to see a picture of and I'll do my best to post it for you. Keep it clean, I refuse to take photos of jobbies on logs or the tremendous mess that neds and their dogs leave on Union Street. I don't know if it'll work but as I really have nothing better to do, I'm giving it a go and hoping that you lovely people will humour me :-)

Anyway, seeing as the most exciting thing I have done this week is walk through a stream of male piss as he shook off in a sneaky corner unbeknownst to me, I'll just go and read my book and not wash my hair.

Britney Wannabe

10/20/2004 08:00:00 PM

Sunday, October 17

Somehow we almost managed to get into a fight with a very tinky minky butch lesbian last night. I blame the smirnoff ice and her total attitude which revealed itself when we refused to give the tapered jeans wearing mini man a cigarette. She was like 2 foot high and had a face like a sun dried jobbie but boy she was a scary little fucker who needed more than a cigarette in order to chill the fuck out. Christ, it was totally the night for creepy lesbos in the gay bar last night. I swear it was like day release central in there and you couldn't turn around without some manky dyke in your face trying to convince you she wasn't chatting you up. Doubt it. And they storm around there like they own the place, elbowing and heel kicking anyone who dares get in their way. They are so bloody rude, I've seen more manners on a stray hound. And wow, did I miss the memo about a No Bra night? There were far too many bra-less wonders for my liking. You couldn't even side step on the dance floor with out treading on a gravity defying nipple. What's that all about? One chick had a crop top on and her mega discs were totally peeking out the bottom of it. It was fully rotten and enough to make you vomit all those feisty tapas you'd just stuffed yourself with.

Aside from low flying nipples and aggresive dykes too cheap to buy their own nicotine however it was indeed a fabulous night and I got a well over due dance with my girl. Of course today it is my turn to look like a sun crusted poop but hell for that much fun, for once I do not care. I can feel the two day hangover lingering like a customer 2 minutes after the shop shuts but I'll deal with that tomorrow. For now I must go and see what other shite junky food I can scrape together from our patheticly unfilled cupboards. Pickles on oatcakes it is. Hmpf.

Today's Likes

Yesterday's work night out
Getting up to drunken, silly mischief with my Lil Red
Gwen Stefani's new song
D.I.Y egg fried rice, salmonella here we come
Mean Girls out on DVD tomorrow, yay

Today's Dislikes

Being the loudest person last night who annoyingly yelled 'meatballs' at irregular intervals for no good reason
Not knowing how to tune in the new video player and hence missing The L Word
The abundance of poofs in stripey shirts, there's just no need for that many stripes
Gobby lesbos
People that just cannot take no for a bloody answer

Britney Wannabe

10/17/2004 04:50:00 PM

Tuesday, October 12

I went to Dundee yesterday, on the bloody megabus. Christ, I can totally see why they call it the armpit of Scotland, bugger that tho, try arsehole. What a dump. What a bunch of creeps it houses. And here i was thinking I lived in the crappest city in the universe but looks like I got off lightly. I've never seen so many Neds in my life and sadly I've seen a hell of a lot of the long, white trainer wearing wanks to last me someone else's lifetime. There was like this tiny corner with a decent enough shopping centre and a pretty church but that was its only visible redeeming qualities. It was like walking around Aberdeen market at lunchtime, too
many cheap shite shops, too many cheap shite people, art students aside. May I never slag Aberdeen and it's fake designer wearing inhabitants again. Yeah right.

At least it was a day spent not working which definitely gives it plus points, even if the megabus was as comfy as a squealchy unfreed poop. This week is going to be too long and because I'm looking forward to getting my ass on the social scene on Saturday night I know it will drag like a low ass in unsupportive pants.

And so I go gorge myself on fruit salad, yes really. Grated cheese on the top of course.

Britney Wannabe

10/12/2004 07:26:00 PM

Saturday, October 9

Lil Red could cope no more with her Lion King hairdo and finally relented. She bought a replacement pair of GHD strightners yesterday, despite the fact we can barely afford to eat never mind spend £100 pounds on hair straightening equipment. It's very exciting. I had totally forgotten what I even looked like with straight hair, having had massively mega hair for weeks now. No longer will I get up in the morning and not be able to find my phone which has gotten quite lost within the confines of my hair. Never again will children stop and stare and ask their mummies why 'that girl has a long blonde afro'. And thankfully I will once again be able to fit my treble width hair through doorways without having to go in sideways.

Not only did we get GHDs but we got the jumbo ones, for those with especially large hair and I can have it straight and sleek with a distinct burning odour in 15 minutes. It's all too much. I really should go out tonight to prove to the world that my hair can and will be flat (ish) but after my monster hangover on Thursday I really cannot face vodka and cigarettes. And where would I go anyway? Our solitary gay bar? What and watch wasted fucks dancing like they are trying to push out a poop? No thank you, I'd rather scratch my eyes out with rusted coat hangers.

Anyway, I watched Eternal Sunshine last night and yum delicious, Kate Winslet is hotter than toast.

And so I go get even more frustrated with my computer for not downloading anything I want it to.

Britney Wannabe

10/09/2004 03:25:00 PM

Thursday, October 7

My Favourite Shoe Posted by Hello

My Furry Welly Posted by Hello

My Well Heavy Lesbo Shoe, Wow Posted by Hello

I went out after work last night for food and ended up damn drunk instead. Having not touched alcohol since I contracted that bug I cannot spell, I knew this was going to be a bad idea. One beer and I was wasted so there really was no need for the many, many vodkas that followed at a pound a pop. We haven't seen the lovely J Bo in weeks, possibly months so it was fully fabulous to be in her company once again as she regaled us with tales of turd and urine infections.

Also in attendance were The Queen of Fun and wow, the power of that girl's filthy looks could reduce a butch lesbo to a simpering mass of nothingness and The Beast who was reeling from the departure of his possible new boy and of course the wonderful Lil Red who's boobs just attract far too much attention... SO, what I'm trying to say is that being damn drunk means that I'm now highly hungover and because of that feeling of being a putrid poop, I needed to post pictures of my shoes. There is no other reason than that.

The Well Heavy Lesbo Shoe, as was brought to my drunken attention, is just wrong. A Heavy Lesbo Shoe should never be backless, it totally takes away its power and butchness but boy it is one heavy shoe. You can hear me clodding along for miles, people clear paths in advance for the entrance of the Heavy Lesbo Shoe wearer because to be able to lift up such a monstrous shoe, the wearer muct be pretty damn heavy herself. It takes more effort to lift my feet when in these bad boys than it does to lift my multiple guts around and that's saying something. I bet shotputters wear these shoes. And giants.

Anyway, I need more cheese because if it's half the fat I can eat double the amount, right?

Today's Likes

Boy Meets Boy, fabulous book by David Levithan
My 'office' space at home
SMSing house phones...
Days off with my girl
Wrists adorned with bandanas, one at a time tho

Today's Dislikes

Missing The L Word because of damn drunkeness
Cheese breath
Smoky hair, was I even smoking? Oh probably
Smelling like a mouldy toldy, shower time Fee

Britney Wannabe

10/07/2004 11:48:00 AM

Wednesday, October 6

Public transport really does know how to ruin my day. Tuesday is the only day I start work at 9, usually I'm a half niner, for the joys of staff training so it's the one day a week that if I get the bus, I must share my journey with late school kids and high ponytailed, burberry wearing college people. It's absolutely something to look forward to and as Lil Red and I were running late we had no option but to jump on the bus. Of course the bus was more packed than my pants when I'm parading as a boy and the only available place for me to stand was in front of the doors. Apart from having some bint breathing her glorious, hot morning breath all over my clean skin, I also had the worry that should the doors swing open unexpectedly that I'd get sucked out the door and be lost to the traffic fatally. I shouldn't have worried as when we reached the next stop the concertina doors were automatically flung open and I was subsequently sandwiched between the door and the luggage rack. I tried to appear nonchalant about the whole incident, pretending that in no way was I squashed behind the heavy door and tried to casually remove myself before the onlookers could say, 'eh are you squished behind that door?'. Of course as my large body was restricting the door from being open full way, when I eased myself out, the doors banged properly open with such force I almost lost a hand and straggles of my hair were left behind. As luck would have it, the noise of the crash caused everyone to look my way and giggle and chortle as if me, the heavy, getting caught in a bus door was the funniest thing in the world. At 8.45am, it really was. Why the driver who saw I was in a dangerous position didn't alert me to the fact I'll never know. Probably because he too was in need of a bit of humour in his bus driving life. I'm just glad I didn't have on the Lesbo Shoes of Death and fall on my ass in the process. Bloody public transport, it just never goes according to plan.

And so I go adorn my heavy lesbo shoes which have sturdy man grips and make me look a good 5" taller and far more butch than I mean to be :-)

Britney Wannabe

10/06/2004 08:47:00 AM

Monday, October 4

After filling in my 456th application form, once my sight was more than blurred, I was randomly checking a box under Ethnic Origin on one form when I cast my eyes onto the question below. What is your sexual orientation? Eh hello? Had I stumbled upon a porn site where I had to check a box to get in? No I was still filling in a form for the bloody council. The options I think were, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Straight, Transgender and Undisclosed. I imagine undisclosed was for the metreosexuals of A sexuals among us but this was unclear. They ask these questions to ensure 'equality' but tell me, why exactly is it relevant for prospective employers to know whether I'm into beaver, snakes, both or a bit of something inbetween? I'm only applying for administration jobs, not 'Lesbo Porn Mistress' or anything so what's the deal? I don't particularly want people that I may work with in the future knowing my sexuality before I even get an interview. Obviously they say that your answers will not prejudice them but in this shallow minded hole of a city, how can I be so sure? It's not like I'd ever find out that my application was discarded because I was lady lover is it? I could have ticked the 'straight' box but I wasn't going to just blatently lie about it. SO I did what I probably shouldn't have. I ticked the 'undisclosed' which is probably worse than out and out lying because then it's obvious anyway that I'm no hetty betty and makes me look ashamed of who I amAnd I'm not but like I say, I didn't want a bunch of stuffy people knowing who I like before they even meet me. I just felt totally uncomfortable with the question and wondered do other employers ask this?

Well off I go as it's pretty much bed time so let's just hope that this girl of undisclosed sexuality (shit, I hope they don't think I'm into anything kinky by that non disclosure) gets a bloody job based on her skills not her lack of straightness.

Oh and for Killy, see here for lesbo shoe humiliation incidents...

Britney Wannabe

10/04/2004 08:46:00 PM

Sunday, October 3

The Lesbian Shoe of Death Posted by Hello

Britney Wannabe

10/03/2004 06:19:00 PM

Friday, October 1

Having a day off rocks. Having to work the weekend after a day off sucks. Having to spend your day off trying to pry your eyes open with plyers is kinda fun. Having to fill in multiple application forms on your day off is hopeful. Having no social life and nothing of interest to write about is sad. And so, in the absence of said social life I have opted to fill in the following list, stolen shamelessly from The BikiniLineShaver Now, it is pretty damn lengthy so please feel free to skim read it because no doubt my stunningly dull persona will bore you into an early sleep or at the very worse, grave.

First best friend: Defintely JC, my roller skating buddy from round the corner
First car: 63 lessons later and I'm no closer to getting my license nevermind owning a damn car
First real kiss: Ug, that vile boy with puss filled spots and massive glasses, not to mention wandering hands. I can still feel his exzema on my skin.
First break-up: Probably the chick from Cornwall who never bothered to tell me...
First screen name: misss_spears
First self purchased album: Pearl Jam - Ten
First funeral: A family friend, first and only thank god
First pets: My cross Scottie/Poodle, ace he was
First piercing/tattoo: multiple ear piercings, gold studs, oh please
First credit card: Mastercard, 7 years later still paying off the massive debt acrued by going to London too many times
First enemy: The Bitch, also my first crush, oh she was naaasty
First big trip: NYC baby
First music you remember hearing in your house: Shakin' Stevens, I was him.


Last cigarette: Ibiza, 5 weeks ago, hours before I chucked my guts up and realised I had eaten something rotten...
Last car ride: My dad took me to my parents house just now
Last kiss: mmmmm... my LilRed 2 hours ago, yum
Last good cry: Probably over something stupid, like a fat kid winning a prize...
Last library book checked out: Am banned from all libraries for the non return of various books
Last book bought: A Ghost in the Closet by Mabel Maney
Last movie seen: Panic Room. Rarr
Last beverage drank: Redbush Tea
Last food consumed: Porridge with vanilla soya milk
Last crush: My Lil Red and Dana from the L Word
Last phone call: My dad
Last time showered: 1 1/2 hours ago, clean, mmmm
Last shoes worn: The Lesbian Shoes of Death, thank god there is no rain
Last item bought: A wheat free tuna crepe
Last annoyance: My job
Last time wanting to die: Probably after I got grounded and wasn't allowed to go dancing to see my hot teacher... I'm talking years ago... and there were no tutus involved I promise

Who are your best friends? Lil Red, Queen of Fun, J Bo, The Beast, Gobby Bobby, Babs,
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Oh yes

Where is your favorite place to shop? I don't even remember the last time I shopped, probably bloody ebay
Any tattoos or piercings? 4 tattoos and various piercings

Do you do drugs? Nope
What kind of shampoo do you use? Anything that smells dellicious
What are you most scared of? Going mad
What are you listening to right now? Deep Dish - Flashdance
Where do you want to get married? Eh, somewhere that isn't Aberdeen, the Isle of Lesbos perhaps
How many buddies are online right now? Don't have any...
What would you change about yourself? I'd drop half my body weight and hope it doesn't land on anyone

Color: Pink, black
Food: Cheeeese
Boy's names: Jack
Girl's names: Eliza
Subjects in school: English, hot teacher you see
Animals: Dogs
Sports: hell no
Perfume: Eau de BO

Given anyone a bath? Yes yes
Smoked? Yup, started when I was 15 but gave up when I met someone who'd rather I didn't taste like a fag end
Bungee jumped? Not on your life
Made yourself throw up? Oh yes
Skinny dipped? No way, would scare off any living creatures
Been in love? Yes...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? No, the crying thing happens as a matter of course with me, I don't need to force it
Pictured your crush naked? Don't need to picture it...
Actually seen your crush naked? yes
Cried when someone died? Yes
Lied? yes, badly
Fallen for your best friend? No way
Been rejected? God yeah
Rejected someone? A couple of times when it was absolutely necessary :-)
Used someone? No I don't think so
Done something you regret? Where do you want me to start?

Clothes: Cords, tee, lesbo shoes,
Music: My own persnal mix
Make-up: Glitter only, too fat handed to apply make up decently
Annoyance: The fact that I am so bloody knackered
Smell: dog breath, not sure if it's mine or my pup's
Favorite artist: Ask me something else
Desktop picture: britney
CD in PLayer: Pink
DVD in player: The Office, Lucy Davis, mmmm
Color of toenails: colourless but very long. Gadz

You touched: My mum
Hugged: my mum
You imed: I texted The Beast if that counts
You kissed: Girlfriend, and what a kiss it was

Understanding: I think so
Open-minded: Of course
Arrogant: I have nothing to be arrogant about
Insecure: Aha
Interesting: Depends on my mood, today - no way
Hungry: Always
Smart: In some respects although I was descibed as 'clever but fluffy'
Moody: Christ yes
Hardworking: Not as much I should be but when your heart is not in it...
Organized: Explain the meaning of this word please.
Healthy: In terms of what I eat, yes but otherwise my health sucks
Shy: I lack conversational skills if that's the same thing
Attractive: If you keep your eyes closed
Bored easily: No but my concentration is appalling
Responsible: Boringly so
Obsessed: Am very compulsive about many things
Angry: YES, only when I'm tired... which is pretty much constantly...
Sad: Nah :-)
Disappointed: Only with myself for being in a poopy job
Happy: Yes...
Hyper: Sometimes... my Lil Red makes me hyper
Trusting: Yes, sometimes too trusting
Talkative: Only with people I know and when I am seriously wasted
Legal: yes

Kill: No one really
Slap: The list is too long but at the top it would be Mr Burberry
Get high with: Britney baby
Look like: a slimmer version of me probably
Talk to offline: My girlfriend
Talk to online: Anyone who who can stand my excessive typos

Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
Flowers or candy: Flowers, they don't add 10 pounds
Tall or short: Either works for me

In the morning I am: Moody and always rushing
All I need are: my girl, a new york apartment and a fabulous job
Love is: fully fabulous
I dream about: Weird stuff involving my teeth being extracted
What do you notice first: Voice and hair
Last person you danced with: My girl, in the flat, like twatts
Worst question to ask: Are you gay?
Who makes you laugh the most: Lil Red and J Bo
Who makes you smile: Lil Red, my friends
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: people I thought were my friends but clearly are not
Who has a crush on you: My Lil Red I presume...
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Yes! I have packed my pants before but haven't strapped down my boobs
Wish you were younger: of course, hmpf

Of guys I've kissed: Too many to even think about... New Year is an excuse to get tongued by the most vile specimens in quantity, when you are 17
Of girls I've kissed: About 20? I only remember the good or the really bad though

And that concludes todays tour of The Fee. I hope you have enjoyed your trip and I would welcome any feedback you may have. I also hope you are still with us and I haven't tipped you over the edge into total and utter boredom.

Today's Likes

Cheese oatcakes
Cobb Island by Blayne Copper - a bit flouncy but not bad
Seeing people I haven't seen in ages unexpectedly
Finding hideyholes in work so I can be a proper loner while eating my lunch
Waking up with my baby

Today's Dislikes

Not having 2 days off in a row
Washing my hair, such an effort
The return of the evil one on Monday
Heavy lifting, there is just no need
My eggy breath despite not having eaten eggs and having cleaned my teeth
Not enough Dana or Shane in the last L Word